Shipwrecked

A retired corporate executive, recently widowed, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he was lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen rowed up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asked, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replied, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this thing?" explained the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she said.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked to shore, he nearly fell off the boat. Before himwas a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck.

As they walk into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please.Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you," he blurted out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk.After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There’s a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet."

No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, was a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he mused. "What next?"

When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her."Tell me," she began suggestively, slithering closer to him,

"We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. Isn’t there something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?"

She stared seductively into his eyes.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You mean . . " he swallowed excitedly and tears started to form in his eyes.

"Don't tell me you've built a Golf Course."