A Red Ribbon Affair

Just a few months ago a couple of young girls, with whom I am acquainted, returned from a two-month holiday to their ancestral homeland of Scotland. During their stay they had many adventures but as the end of their holiday drew near they found that neither one of them had succeeded in answering a question that had been a primary motive for taking the trip. "What did a Scotsman wear under his kilt?"

They had become resigned to never knowing the answer for even if they succeeded in finding a Scot wearing a kilt, they were both somewhat plain and timid and simply could not overcome their shyness and outright ask.

On the day of their departure they were taking a morning stroll through one of Edinburgh's beautiful parks, when an unusual opportunity presented itself. They chanced upon an extremely aged Scot, outrigged in full Highland regalia, stretched out in the morning sun on one of the Park's many benches. They had a hurried discussion and plucking up their resolve they approached the

To their dismay he was sound asleep, and they didn't want to wake him, but they were consumed with curiosity. One of them carefully and quietly, so as to not disturb the old gentleman, reached down and lifted the edge of his kilt and, as they had suspected, there was not a stitch of underclothing to be found. Their curiosity on that count satisfied they found that they simply could not leave without leaving some proof of their success.

One of them reached up, took a small red ribbon from her hair and carefully and quietly tied a bow around the end of the old fellow's exposed member. They carefully replaced his kilt in a dignified position, and left him still sound asleep and managed to make their return flight just in time.

A couple of hours after their departure the old Scot woke with a truly great need to urinate, and stepping behind one of nearby bushes, reached under his kilt and whipped out his weapon to relieve himself. He stopped short as soon as he observed his newly decorated pride and joy.

After looking at it for several seconds with a puzzled expression, he continued with his chore but muttered aloud,

"I dinna know where ye come from, Laddy, and I dinna know where ye bin, but I can see ye took firrrrrst prrrrrrize again!!"