Rastus and Mandy

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One day Rastus went and bought himself a new used car.

It was a real beauty:

Fire Engine Red, only 4 dents

The lights all worked, & it went like hell.

He was very proud of his new wheels.

He couldn’t wait to show his girlfriend Mandy.

Almost immediately he drove into her driveway and hollered

“Hey, Mandy girl!! Come on outs and take a ride in my new car.”

He jumped out, ushered her into her new chariot and then they took off in a cloud of dust down the road.

He got up to 40 mph and Mandy said: “Oh, Rastus. We’s goin too fast!”

“Hell No Mandy This here’s a almost new used car and it goes a lot faster.”

The speed went up to 60 mph and Mandy screamed; “Oh, Rastus. We’s goin much too fast!

Rastus just laughed and booted his pride up to almost 80 mph but then he suddenly ran out of road.

The car went arse over tea kettle

Airborne

Upside

Downside

Crash

Thump

Bang

Tinkle

Silence.

When Rastus woke up, he crawled out of the wreck and called out

“Mandy! Mandy! I sees you girl! Is you hurt?”

Mandy’s weak voice replied,

“Oh Rastus, I is split from my belly button to my asshole”

Rastus snorted: “I knows that Mandy, I asked,

Is you hurt?”